8/13/1964 - 10/26/2018
Where do I begin?
I’ll start by telling you this: my mother was my heart, my lifeline, and my guardian angel. She was nurturing, hardworking, and endlessly supportive. She would give her last to anyone and never let you go hungry or feel alone. Her heart was pure, her love unmatched—and often unreciprocated.
Even when people took her for granted, she never changed. She remained exactly who she was: loving, kind, and selfless. And even in our darkest times, she lifted me up and reminded me to be strong. That was who she was—a woman of resilience who raised three children with grace, strength, and unwavering love.
She taught us to think for ourselves, to lead instead of follow, and to never let life defeat us. But life dealt her a hand none of us were prepared for.
The Day Everything Changed
Watching the casket close on the person you love most—for me, that was my mother—feels like being swallowed whole. You can’t breathe. Your soul begins to crack. People say to be strong, but this kind of pain doesn't play by those rules.
I’ve struggled mentally and emotionally. Even suicidal thoughts visited me. But with time, I’ve worked to heal, especially from the guilt. I did everything I could. It wasn’t perfect, but I fought for her.
Being your mother’s legal guardian is a role that changes you. You make the hard decisions. You sign the dotted lines. You take the calls no one wants to receive. And still, you do everything you can to hold it together.
The Accident That Shattered Our Lives
In April 2017, my mother, just 53 years old and in great health, was on her way to work when she was the victim of a hit-and-run car accident.She was found unresponsive after crashing into a tree. In the hospital, doctors discovered she had:
- Suffered four cardiac arrests
- A severed spleen
- A spinal cord injury that left her paralyzed from the neck down
- Less than 10% heart function
They warned us she might not survive surgery. But I knew my mother’s strength. I believed in her. I signed the forms, trusting that her spirit would carry her through.
And it did.
A Miracle and a Setback
After both surgeries—on her spleen and spine—the doctors were stunned. My mother’s heart began beating stronger. She started breathing on her own. She woke up, alert, asking questions, ready to fight. She was transferred out of the ICU. She could talk, laugh, and eat soft foods. Her recovery began. But due to space limitations and an IV line still in place, she was placed in a short-term rehabilitation center.
That’s when everything took a devastating turn.
Neglect Behind Closed Doors
When I got the call from the rehab director, my heart dropped. My mother had been rushed to the hospital.
She was in ICU again, fighting for her life:
- Stage 4 pressure ulcers
- Malnutrition
- A bone infection
- Sepsis
- Broken femur
- UTI and bloodstream infections
Doctors told me she could’ve died within days if she had stayed in the rehab.
How could this happen after everything she had survived?
Becoming Her Caregiver
We moved into a two-bedroom apartment, and with the help of my husband, sister, niece, and homecare professionals, I brought my mother home.
I had medical experience, and we provided:
- Daily wound and trach care
- Tube feeding and catheter maintenance
- Medication administration
- Vital monitoring
- Constant love and support... etc
We gave her everything—what the system failed to offer.
Even then, family members made false claims and sent Adult Protective Services to our home. But when the investigator arrived, he found a clean, safe, loving environment. My mother, smiling and snacking, told him the truth. He praised us for the exceptional care we provided.
Her Final Chapter
Despite all we did, her condition slowly declined. She was later enrolled in a compassionate hospice facility where she received the peace, dignity, and rest she deserved.It was the hardest moment of my life, but I’m grateful we were able to love and care for her until the very end.
The Moral of My Story
If you commit to working in healthcare—do your damn job. There’s a lack of integrity and dignity in far too many medical institutions. Patients like my mother are neglected, ignored, and dehumanized. I've seen it firsthand—both as a daughter and as a healthcare professional.
Facilities too often care more about bed counts than patient care. They hire people with no compassion and no qualifications beyond a certificate. If you have loved ones in a facility, visit them, advocate for them, and show up for them. Your presence might be the only thing standing between them and neglect.
In Loving Memory 💔💖
Mama, I love and miss you dearly.
Your strength continues to guide me, and your love still holds me together. You were everything a mother should be—strong, loving, and full of light.
I hope this story helps someone else find their voice, fight for their loved one, and never back down in the face of a broken system.
✨ If this story touched you, please share it with someone who needs to read it. Let’s start conversations that lead to change—one story at a time. ✨
